Episode Three: Live Animals

I really like animals. I love dogs, cats are fine, and the occasional rabbit is equally agreeable with me. But when there is an animal on-board an aircraft, that is a completely different story. Mostly because of the passenger handling the animal, or as some refer to them, their "child."

Ma'am, I hate to break it to you, but that is not your child. It is an animal and it needs to be in its carrier under the seat in front of you for the duration of the flight. I'm not telling you this because I don't like your pet, but because it is one of the Federal Aviation Regulations I must enforce to keep you, and 150 other passengers, safe. Normally, passengers understand and comply, but there have been instances when such a simple request has led to absolute insanity. 

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I picked up an Austin trip on one of my days off to earn some extra money. My crew was excellent and I had flown with them before, but as seniority states, I had the last pick of the four flight attendant positions on-board the plane. We were on an MD-80 and I was stuck with position number four (#4) in the tailcone. I didn't mind being seated in the back between the two lavatories and slowly becoming deaf from the roar of the two engines mounted on the back of the plane; it was actually kind of peaceful and serene. Plus the number two flight attendant (#2) seated next to me was a fellow anthropology major like myself, so we had good conversation. 

My position as #4 during the beverage service was at the forward side of the serving cart with #2 on the other side. We worked aft to front starting with row 37 and ending at around row 18. Passing row 28, I noticed a passenger with an orange cat on his lap. Passengers are allowed to have service animals or emotional support animals out on their laps during the flight, so I opted to check the manifest at the end of the beverage service to verify if the cat was a service animal. As #2 passed the gentleman, she immediately informed him that the cat must remain in the carrier for the flight. He hesitated, looked at #2, took the cat by the neck, and stuffed it in the carrier. We finished service and #2 told me she already informed the passenger prior to takeoff that the cat had to be in the carrier; it wasn't a service animal. 

Later on in the flight nearing initial descent, I did a trash run to the back of the plane where the large trash carts are kept. While there, a woman came to me and pulled me aside. 

"Sir, I need to tell you something."

"Yes ma'am, how can I help you?"

"There is a cat in the lavatory."

I looked at her for a moment and she stared right back. 

"I beg your pardon, ma'am."

She again said that "there is a cat in the lavatory."

She pointed to the lavatory nearest to me and motioned for me to open the door. With my hand on the handle, questioning my sanity, I imagined some feral cat leaping from side to side, meowing and clawing everything. I opened the door, looked, and to my surprise, there was indeed a cat in the lavatory. Thankfully in its carrier, but just chillin' on top of the toilet seat. The floor was covered in scat and a purple rag covered in more cat droppings was sticking out of the trash bin. I thanked the woman and picked up the interphone to inform the lead flight attendant (LFA). At the same time, #2 came to the back and I told her the situation. She opened the lavatory door, gasped, and we both began laughing.

Both #2 and I told the lead flight attendant that the cat must belong to the gentleman in row 28 as there weren't any other animals on the plane. The lead brought the man to the back as #2 and I tried our best to put on a straight face. 

LFA: "Sir, you were told to keep the cat in the carrier under the seat in front of you."

PAX: "It got sick"

LFA: "I don't care. You were told multiple times to keep the cat in the carrier under the seat."

PAX: "I don't see the big deal here."

I think at that time the LFA, #2, and I did a simultaneous eye role. 

LFA: "It is a big deal. If the cat was left unsecured in the lavatory during landing, it would have been thrown against the wall from the force. You would have had a smashed cat upon arrival. Take it back to your seat, now."

The man huffed, grabbed the carrier, and sat back down in his seat. I went up to the woman who had first told me about the cat in the lavatory; she was seated a few rows behind cat man. 

"I just have to know. Did you move the cat to use the restroom? There was another one right across the aisle."

"Oh, sir, I just really had to go!"

The back of the plane erupted into laughter, as they were witnesses to the event, as cat man placed his head in his palms. 

"I don't know how you do it, sir," she replied.

I smiled. "I don't know either." 

-EJ