Thursday, March 24, 2016

Episode Six: Compliance and Vaporization

As I said before, my job is all about safety. Many passengers think of me as their personal servant: "stow my bag, sir; bring me another drink, sir; take my trash, right now." Service is part of the job, but flight attendants are first responders trained in all things safety related to aircraft operations. Your safety is our priority. We have to enforce hundreds of Federal Aviation Regulations during all phases of flight, most importantly prior to takeoff and landing, the two most critical parts of air travel. Accidents can occur during these crucial phases so intense and thorough cabin preparation is essential for a safe departure.

On a recent flight to Fort Lauderdale from Columbus, we had already pushed back from the gate when I noticed a passenger without his seat belt fastened. As I walked past him to my safety demonstration position, I tapped him on his shoulder and asked him to buckle his seat belt. After the demo while performing a compliance check on my way to the aft galley to take my jumpseat, I noticed that he had not yet fastened his seat belt.

"Sir, please fasten your seat belt for departure."

"Really, what's the use? It's not going to keep me alive if we crash. We will all be vaporized."

In my almost year of flying, I've heard numerous passengers protest wearing a seat belt, but I've never had a passenger with such a positive outlook on his flight that day. This was also the last flight of the day for me, so my eight hour smile was quickly dissolving. Other passengers began looking in our direction.

"It's the law, and it will keep you safe in an accident."

He glared at me, tilted his head, and then fumbled with the shorter part of the belt as he tried in earnest to cross it over his waist.

"See, it won't fit!!"

(slight pause)

"Sir, the other part is located to your right. It will fit."

Ah, there is nothing more satisfying than the click of seat belts, and lo and behold, his buckled just right. I reminded him that his backpack needed to be under the seat in front of him. He instead moved it under his feet and folded his arms.

"No sir, under the seat in front of you."

"Are you serious!?"

"Yep."

Once his exhibition had concluded, I continued to the back and took my seat for takeoff. From this altercation, one would think that this passenger was an old, grumpy man set on being an extra-special customer. Wrong. He was in fact a college student, at least a year or two younger than me. My time at college taught me a vast amount of life lessons, but I guess the course on being extremely cynical  and refusing to comply with crewmember instructions (a federal offence) was not offered at my institution.

I do not ask passengers to do these simple tasks four to eight times a day because I want to be annoying, but because all of these Federal Aviation Regulations guarantee a safer cabin in the event of an accident.

 "Please stow all carry-on items in an overhead bin or under the seat in front of you"
       Having backpacks, purses, and other small bags placed under the seat leaves the area around   your feet clear from tripping hazards in the event of an evacuation. Also, if you have seat mates in the same row, stowing your bag keeps their egress equally clear. Promise me this, dear readers, that if you should ever be in a situation on board that requires an evacuation, LEAVE EVERYTHING! Fumbling for your bags or suitcases risks your own life and that of your fellow passengers. You cannot also safely slide down an emergency chute with a carry-on bag, again compromising the safety of other travelers. Items can be replaced; your life is precious. Sometimes passengers keep their bags in an empty seat next to them. Again, not allowed. If we hit turbulence, those items can become airborne and could hit fellow passengers. A heavy purse is even more lethal when it is traveling at hundreds of miles of hour in an enclosed cabin.

 "Please fasten your seat belts whenever you are seated and whenever the seat belt sign is on"
       Seat belts do keep you safe, college kid. In an aircraft, the seat belts are designed to keep you physically in your seat, which is the safest place for you to be while on board. Aircraft seats are specifically constructed to withstand a high amount of g-forces, whether experienced through turbulence, a hard landing, or an accident. Also, just because the fasten seat belt sign has been turned off during cruise doesn't mean that it is entirely safe. Clear air turbulence is unexpected, violent, and always poses a threat. I know of fellow crew members being thrown against the ceiling, slammed back on the floor, and then requiring hospitalization from these events. Turbulence is no joke and even though flight attendants are constantly moving around the cabin during multiple phases of flight, caution is of the utmost importance. So please, if you do not need to use the lavatory and you choose to stay seated, keep your seat belt fastened at all times.

 "Ensure that your tray tables are in their upright and locked position"
     Lowered tray tables can equally block a path of egress in the event of an evacuation. So yes, you do need to put them up. "Surely you can't be serious!" I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

"Laptops must be placed under the seat in front of you during taxi, takeoff, and landing"
      I certainly would not like a MacBook Air Pro flying at my face as the aircraft is taking off at 160 miles an hour, would you?

Flying is the safest form of transportation in existence. Thousands of planes takeoff and land safely every single day around the world. We sometimes see aviation accidents in the news and think how these occurrences must be on the rise, but they are still very rare. Flight attendants are trained to keep you safe at all times and charged with evacuating an aircraft in less than 90 seconds should the need arise. During every takeoff and landing, flight attendants perform a mental checklist reviewing evacuation orders and procedures. I used to mouth my review, but some passengers in the front cabin would ask me if I am praying (which I do before every takeoff and landing, but in my head). Instead I fix my gaze towards the back bulkhead of the cabin and review the following:

Location and operation of emergency exits 
Which door am I in charge of? What is my secondary exit? How do I open the door and inflate the slide? What should I do if the slide does not inflate? 

Evacuation commands 
Heads down, stay down! Release seat belts, remain seated! Release seat belts, come this way! Come this way, jump and slide, leave everything! Exit blocked, go across! Exit blocked, go back/forward now!

Emergency Light Switch (ELS)
Am I in charge of initiating the emergency escape path lighting?

Passenger Count
How many passengers are on board? How many lap children? Where are the wheelchair passengers located? Which able-bodied passengers can I call on in the event of an evacuation?

Location of the aircraft
Is the aircraft over land or water? Which exits will be usable? What are my water evacuation commands? 

At the end of the day, your flight attendants have your back in all sorts of emergency situations. Along with the captain, we are the authorities in the cabin and passengers are required to comply with our instructions. And if you choose not to, you cannot fly. And if you really don't comply, you can explain your reasoning to police officers as they escort you off the plane. Imagine, if you will not listen to my request for you to fasten your seat belt, will you listen to me when I'm shouting for you to "remain seated" or "jump and slide" during an evacuation?

We love our job and we love what we do. Please help your flight attendants keep air travel safe, secure, and enjoyable not only for yourself but for your fellow passengers.



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